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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Baseball
Guys
Sex
Couple
Wasn
Team
Guy
Twenties
Saved

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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
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While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
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Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
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Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.
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I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.
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Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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