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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Alcohol
Smell
Would
Like
Margarita
Vodka
Perfume
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
Chelsea Handler
If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
Chelsea Handler
Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
Chelsea Handler
We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
Chelsea Handler
I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
Chelsea Handler
This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
Chelsea Handler
I want to start saying bad words all the time!
Chelsea Handler
I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
Chelsea Handler
Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.
Chelsea Handler
There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
Chelsea Handler
There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
Chelsea Handler
They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
Chelsea Handler
It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
Chelsea Handler
I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
Chelsea Handler
I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
Chelsea Handler
I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
Chelsea Handler
Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
Chelsea Handler
Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
Chelsea Handler
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler
Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
Chelsea Handler
