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If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Month
Months
Friend
Blood
Days
Wonder
Girl
Diamonds
Best
Diamond
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I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
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I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
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... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
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I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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