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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Father
Stills
Still
Aisle
Never
Married
Would
Walk
Wouldn
Walks
Alive
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
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But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.
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Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.
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It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
Chelsea Handler
