Quote

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

Chelsea Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Mean
Going
Raped
Japanese
Racist
Racism
Hurt
Guy

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

Image
Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
Chelsea Handler
Image
People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
Image
You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
Chelsea Handler
Image
To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer — no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be — and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
Chelsea Handler
Image
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
Image
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
Chelsea Handler
Image
If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
Chelsea Handler
Image
The important thing is to be drunk.
Chelsea Handler
Image
When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
Chelsea Handler
Image
It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler