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My life and my legs have been an open book.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Legs
Open
Book
Life

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
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There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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