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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Embarrassing
Repeat
Repeats
Dirty
Sure
Talk
Nothing
Make

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.
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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
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I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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