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Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
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Livingston
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Chelsea Joy Handler
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.
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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
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You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
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I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.
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