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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Baby
Bigs
People

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... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
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My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
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For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
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We women have to stick together.
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