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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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People
Baby

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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
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I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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