Quote

Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Chelsea Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Baby
Bigs
People

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

Image
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
Chelsea Handler
Image
Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
Chelsea Handler
Image
There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
Chelsea Handler
Image
No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
Chelsea Handler
Image
When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
Chelsea Handler
Image
If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
Chelsea Handler
Image
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
Image
The important thing is to be drunk.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
Chelsea Handler
Image
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I want to start saying bad words all the time!
Chelsea Handler
Image
A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
Chelsea Handler