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For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
People
Speak
Necessarily
Care
Benefits
Government
Aren
Important
Circumstances
Even
Health
Lesbian
Really
System
Dealing
Think
Though
Benefit
Thinking
Community
Gay

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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.
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I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
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People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
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I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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