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Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Looking
Comedian
Show
Event
Funny
Obviously
Stuff
Events
Shows
Involved
Always
Somebody
Host
People
Stand
Whoever
Asks
Calls

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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.
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There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
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I like to just follow what I find compelling. In order for me to be compelling, I have to be compelled. I don't try to think about what people are interested in seeing, I have to be interested. For me, that works the best.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.
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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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