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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Everybody
Happy
Littles
Little
Needs
Something
Always
Pitch
Laughing

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
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I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
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People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
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I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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