Quote

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.

Chelsea Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Men
Like
Cocky
Bathroom
Michael
George
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

Image
People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
Image
You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
Chelsea Handler
Image
When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
Chelsea Handler
Image
I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
Chelsea Handler
Image
There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
Chelsea Handler
Image
It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
Chelsea Handler
Image
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
Chelsea Handler
Image
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
Chelsea Handler
Image
I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.
Chelsea Handler
Image
In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
Chelsea Handler
Image
You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
Chelsea Handler
Image
I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
Chelsea Handler