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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Humor
Needed
Funny
Something
Hangovers
Hangover
Recommend
Pregnancy
Fast

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
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I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
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We women have to stick together.
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It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.
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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
Chelsea Handler
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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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