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You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
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Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler
It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
Chelsea Handler
I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
Chelsea Handler
I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.
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My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
Chelsea Handler
As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
Chelsea Handler
Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
Chelsea Handler
... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
Chelsea Handler
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
Chelsea Handler
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
Chelsea Handler
When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
Chelsea Handler
