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Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Humor
Instead
Ready
Tattoo
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Dont
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Six
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I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
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