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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Kind
Make
Think
Thinking
Like
Escapism
People
Laugh
Laughing
Anything

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
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Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.
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We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV. I don't think either one is an exaggerated version. You just have to be who you are.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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