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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Thinking
Like
Escapism
People
Laugh
Laughing
Anything
Kind
Make
Think

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
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I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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I think reality television, unless it's inspirational, which it very rarely is, I think it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing state of affairs that we're in.
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People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
Chelsea Handler
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
Chelsea Handler
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I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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