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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Exactly
Role
Roles
Playing
Always

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
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Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
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Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
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Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
Chelsea Handler