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People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Thinking
Asks
World
Easy
People
Women
Take
Hard
Really
Men
Ride
Think
Gotten

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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My life and my legs have been an open book.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
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You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
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