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I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Like
Marry
Seriously
Sweet
Wasn
Mean
Going
Antithetical
Think
Cent
Thinking
Cents

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
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Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
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... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
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Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
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