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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Jealous
Women

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I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
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You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.
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If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
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People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
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You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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There's a difference between watching a chef show, which doesn't feel like a reality show compared to the Housewives. Those shows can, I think, not only lower your IQ, but really just knock the wind out of you, because we're all here in this business.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.
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