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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Jealous
Women
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.
Chelsea Handler
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
Chelsea Handler
You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
Chelsea Handler
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler
Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
Chelsea Handler
Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
Chelsea Handler
You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.
Chelsea Handler
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
Chelsea Handler
People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
Chelsea Handler
Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
Chelsea Handler
Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
Chelsea Handler
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
Chelsea Handler
If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
Chelsea Handler
Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
Chelsea Handler
When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.
Chelsea Handler
You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
Chelsea Handler
I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
Chelsea Handler
There's a difference between watching a chef show, which doesn't feel like a reality show compared to the Housewives. Those shows can, I think, not only lower your IQ, but really just knock the wind out of you, because we're all here in this business.
Chelsea Handler
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.
Chelsea Handler