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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Women
Jealous

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
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People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
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Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest in public school, you learn from your teacher and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.
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I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
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But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
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For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.
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My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
Chelsea Handler
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.
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