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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
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Scuba Diver
Television Actor
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Livingston
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Chelsea Joy Handler
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
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I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
