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Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
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Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Rich
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Nothing
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Herpes
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler
My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
Chelsea Handler
I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
Chelsea Handler
I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
Chelsea Handler
I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Chelsea Handler
The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
Chelsea Handler
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Chelsea Handler