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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Another
Heartache
Persons
Enduring
Person
Endure
Important
Anger
Even
Tough
Terrible
Focus
Vibrator
Times
Masturbation

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But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
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I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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