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Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Person
Endure
Important
Anger
Even
Tough
Terrible
Focus
Vibrator
Times
Masturbation
Another
Heartache
Persons
Enduring
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Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office.
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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.
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I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.
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There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.
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