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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Better
Make
Gonna
Choose
Guy
Girl

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.
Chelsea Handler
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
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People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.
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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
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A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
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That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything
Chelsea Handler
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... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
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Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
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The important thing is to be drunk.
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
Chelsea Handler
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
Chelsea Handler