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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Skinny
Killers
Testament
Burn
Psychos
Theory
Crazier
Women
Psycho
Always
Calories
Killer

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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
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I think being able to have follow-through, I think a lot of people who are in charge, that is the one quality that you can't forsake. You can get opinions, but you can't have too many cooks in the kitchen when you're envisioning something.
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We women have to stick together.
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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
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I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
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The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
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Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.
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