Quote

This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

Chelsea Handler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Burn
Psychos
Theory
Crazier
Women
Psycho
Always
Calories
Killer
Skinny
Killers
Testament

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
Image
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
Chelsea Handler
Image
People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
Chelsea Handler
Image
The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
Chelsea Handler
Image
You just be honest about who you are, and if you dont end up with any friends, then good for you.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.
Chelsea Handler
Image
There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.
Chelsea Handler
Image
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
Chelsea Handler
Image
My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
Chelsea Handler
Image
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
Chelsea Handler
Image
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
Chelsea Handler
Image
People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
Chelsea Handler
Image
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
Chelsea Handler