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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
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Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Psychos
Burn
Theory
Crazier
Women
Psycho
Always
Calories
Killer
Skinny
Killers
Testament
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
Chelsea Handler
A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.
Chelsea Handler
I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
Chelsea Handler
I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.
Chelsea Handler
I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
Chelsea Handler
I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
Chelsea Handler
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler
There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
Chelsea Handler
I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
Chelsea Handler
It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
Chelsea Handler
They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
Chelsea Handler
Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
Chelsea Handler
People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.
Chelsea Handler
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
Chelsea Handler
Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
Chelsea Handler
The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
Chelsea Handler
I want to start saying bad words all the time!
Chelsea Handler
You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
Chelsea Handler
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
Chelsea Handler
