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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Quitters
Quitter
Explain
Friend

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
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I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.
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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.
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I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
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The important thing is to be drunk.
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For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.
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If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
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I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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We're not actors, we're people behaving like ourselves on TV. We're both [me and Gordon Ramsay] exactly who we are on TV. I don't think either one is an exaggerated version. You just have to be who you are.
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You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU
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Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O. J. is pissed - he feels like they're making his name look bad.
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I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
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No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
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Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.
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Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?
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