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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
High
Five
Funny
Makes
Undressed
Accents
Humor
Comedy

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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You've got guys on freeways with motorbikes with no helmets on, you can't drink until you're 21 and we wonder why so many youth are smoking f - ing cannabis, and you can start driving here at 15. How f - ed up is that?
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I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
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According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.
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Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.
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I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
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It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
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I like to just follow what I find compelling. In order for me to be compelling, I have to be compelled. I don't try to think about what people are interested in seeing, I have to be interested. For me, that works the best.
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I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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The important thing is to be drunk.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.
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