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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Funny
Around
Great
Sleeping
Way
Agree
Think
Meet
Thinking
Humor
People
Comedy
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More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.
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Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
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People tend to call me names that I can't repeat on basic cable. I will give you a hint. They rhyme with itch, hunt, & bore.
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No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
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I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
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My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
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I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.
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The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
Chelsea Handler
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It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.
Chelsea Handler
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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
Chelsea Handler