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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Way
Agree
Think
Meet
Thinking
Humor
People
Comedy
Sleep
Funny
Around
Great
Sleeping

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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You should always speak your mind, and be bold, and be obnoxious, and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell you to stop it.
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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not like Im that picky, youve seen the guys Ive dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!
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If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.
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The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
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I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.
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No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
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To always trust my instincts, to always believe I have something to offer — no matter how meaningless or stupid it may be — and to never listen to anyone who tells you ‘no.’
Chelsea Handler
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.
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My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.
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