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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Think
Meet
Thinking
Humor
People
Comedy
Sleep
Funny
Around
Great
Sleeping
Way
Agree
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
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The important thing is to be drunk.
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I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
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We women have to stick together.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl
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As you get older, then you finally come back around full circle when you don't give a s - anymore and you decide I'm going to just tell the truth to everybody. I don't give a s - if anybody likes me.
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I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.
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A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
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No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.
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We're doing a bunch of shoots with kids about the election, about politics, about racism. I like to talk about heavy topics with kids because you find out what their parents are feeding them at home, and then you find out their quick reactions to things. It's so refreshing when kids are so honest.
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I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
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I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
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I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
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I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.
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I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.
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I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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