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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Women
Relationship
Long
Serious
Would
Comedy
People
Term
Lasts
Last
Introduce
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Family
Obviously

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It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
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In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.
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I want to start saying bad words all the time!
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We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
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Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.
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Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.
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I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.
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We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close I can do that at home.
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Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.
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Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
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I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
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I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
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I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
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Before any exposure on TV, I'm a real chef.
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You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.
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I understand that if you're a kid in Indonesia, you need to smoke because you just got off work at the Nike factory.
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I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.
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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.
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