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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

Chelsea Handler

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Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
Wings
Defending
Humor
Wing
Week
Factor
Days
Vacation
Funny
Laid
Pundit
President
Factors
Reilly
Political
Bush
Gusto
Right
Six
Pundits

More quotes by Chelsea Handler

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The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.
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Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
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My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.
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You don't mess with janitors, first of all, they have like 40 keys, and 1 is to a closet you don't want to be inside of.
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Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.
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This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.
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I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
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If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?
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First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
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If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
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I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
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Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
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It's unfiltered conversation and I love it. I also like to argue with children, so it's the perfect platform for me.
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A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
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Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
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There's a difference between watching a chef show, which doesn't feel like a reality show compared to the Housewives. Those shows can, I think, not only lower your IQ, but really just knock the wind out of you, because we're all here in this business.
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Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
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Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
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Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
Chelsea Handler