Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
Chelsea Handler
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Chelsea Handler
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: February 25
Actor
Autobiographer
Biographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Scuba Diver
Television Actor
Television Producer
Writer
Livingston
New Jersey
Chelsea Joy Handler
People
Alcohol
Drinking
Kinds
Drink
Trust
Stickers
Party
Sticker
Two
Chelsea
Kind
Collect
More quotes by Chelsea Handler
I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
Chelsea Handler
Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.
Chelsea Handler
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.
Chelsea Handler
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
Chelsea Handler
I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.
Chelsea Handler
A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
Chelsea Handler
Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.
Chelsea Handler
I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.
Chelsea Handler
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
Chelsea Handler
Women don't have to be jealous of other women.
Chelsea Handler
I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.
Chelsea Handler
I wasn’t like 'Oh, I'm going to marry 50 Cent...' I mean, seriously. But I did like him. He's very sweet and antithetical to what you'd think of him.
Chelsea Handler
You should always speak your mind, and be bold, and be obnoxious, and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell you to stop it.
Chelsea Handler
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
Chelsea Handler
When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?
Chelsea Handler
Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
Chelsea Handler
It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
Chelsea Handler
Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'
Chelsea Handler
Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.
Chelsea Handler
