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Wake me up when I'm a size 5.

Cathy Guisewite

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Cathy Guisewite
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: September 5
Cartoonist
Comics Artist
Dayton
Ohio
Cathy Lee Guisewite
Wake
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More quotes by Cathy Guisewite

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I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.
Cathy Guisewite
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In the '80s, I thought I'd be a success as a woman if I were the president of a billion dollar company, had a sensitive soul-mate husband, two bilingual children, buns of steels, and a compost heap. In the '90s, I pretty much feel I'm a success if I can get through the afternoon without eating a cheesecake.
Cathy Guisewite
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Now I'm searching for a slightly overweight, single, childless woman who doesn't have a date and isn't too depressing to be around. It's getting harder to find a girlfriend than a boyfriend.
Cathy Guisewite
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[On men:] I'm torn between wanting to have one and wanting to be one.
Cathy Guisewite
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All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar.
Cathy Guisewite
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A young bride can put on makeup at 6 in the morning and look fabulous at midnight. I have about a 15-minute window where I actually look good, and then I have to wash my face and start over.
Cathy Guisewite
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Animal welfare issues have always been important to me.
Cathy Guisewite
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I'm most proud of having created something that men never completely get.
Cathy Guisewite
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Where's my tax form? Where's the file that's supposed to hold my W-2 form and interest statement? Where's the mileage log I specifically asked be kept last year?? Where's the monthly check summary? And who's been stuffing Visa receipts in the aluminum foil drawer??!! How embarrassing. I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm the only one in the office.
Cathy Guisewite
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In 1976 I wrote a lot about women trying to claim the right to work.
Cathy Guisewite
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Imagine my surprise when, after a lifetime of teaching me to keep personal things to myself, Mom insisted my drawings were the start of a comic strip for millions of people to enjoy.
Cathy Guisewite
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Small wastebasket liners, $1.17 ... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29 ... garbage can liners, $3.98 ... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.
Cathy Guisewite
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I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.
Cathy Guisewite
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Otherwise, my whole career has just been flinging myself at whatever is most overdue first and letting everything else stack up.
Cathy Guisewite
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Food ... love ... mother ... career ... Live every day to the fullest. Partake of the four basic guilt groups.
Cathy Guisewite
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What happened to the good old days of Woman as passive recipient? What happened to being courted? What happened to sitting back under a parasol and granting someone a chance to try to win us over?
Cathy Guisewite
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Allow yourself to graduate, every five years.
Cathy Guisewite
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Because the majority of my readers are women, I feel that one public service I can provide to them is to spread the message of regular mammograms and early detection within the strip.
Cathy Guisewite
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A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're single and your dog is the only other living thing in your house, it's a really special relationship which I wanted CATHY to have.
Cathy Guisewite
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This is a business meal. The calories do not count. I am mentally labeling these as 'business calories' so my body will know they were eaten in the line of duty and will process them differently.
Cathy Guisewite