I've realised I need a gnawing, nagging, anxious doubt when I wake at 4 A.M.

My advice to you is please don't ever sit in your room and lock yourself away because you don't think you're good enough.

Because I was a shy and awkward child, I used humour to deflect attention. It was a controlling mechanism. Because I could use it to control my image.

I'm not frightened of a bit of silence.

I realised that if you get yourself labeled as the funny one, people don't look any further. I've used that as I've got older. It's controlling: I decide what part of my personality you're seeing. I don't want you to look at me, I really don't. I don't want you to comment on my clothes, my hair or the way I look.

Although I was a shy child, I was also a bit flamboyant.

I'm an incredibly negative person, so any form of success is only ever going to be a relief to me and set my default position back to neutral.