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I went to a doctor and told him I felt normal on acid, that I was a light bulb in a world of moths. That is what the manic state is like.
Carrie Fisher
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Carrie Fisher
Age: 60 †
Born: 1956
Born: October 21
Died: 2016
Died: December 27
Actress
Film Actor
Film Producer
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Script Doctor
Singer
Spokesperson
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Burbank
California
Carrie Frances Fisher
State
Bulbs
Felt
Manic
Light
Acid
States
Doctor
Like
Doctors
World
Normal
Told
Bulb
Went
Moths
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Look,' he said, 'I don't think we should continue this discussion. I don't like this side of you.' 'I'm not a box,' she said 'I don't have sides. This is it. One side fits all. This is it.
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From here on out, there's just reality. I think that's what maturity is: a stoic response to endless reality. But then, what do I know?
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My father was a joyous, joyous spirit, he really was. He was a hedonist, that was just - he enjoyed life, thrust up to the elbows with it. He was a terrible father. I don't know that he was parented that well.
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I shot through my twenties like a luminous thread through a dark needle, blazing toward my destination: Nowhere.
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In the Fifties, my parents were known as 'America's sweethearts'. Their pictures graced the covers of all the newspapers. They were the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston of their day.
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I don't want to be caught ... ashamed of anything. And because generally someone who has bipolar doesn't have just bipolar, they have bipolar, and they have a life and a job and a kid and a hat and parents, so its not your overriding identity, it's just something that you have, but not the only thing - even if it's quite a big thing.
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This actress named Lisa Eilbacher. I was up for the part in Shampoo and friends of mine kept telling me she was going around saying all these bad things about me. It's like we're still in the sixth grade sometimes.
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Generally someone will eventually tell you that you have to do something to help yourself.
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I'm fine, but I'm bipolar. I'm on seven medications, and I take medication three times a day. This constantly puts me in touch with the illness I have. I'm never quite allowed to be free of that for a day. It's like being a diabetic.
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A story a friend told me about being in New York and meeting this Latin-lover kind of guy. They went up to her hotel room, and the guy kind of pounced on her and told her to spread her legs, shouting, Surrender the pink! Surrender the pink! That's where it's from.
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I found out when I did the Oprah Winfrey show that there was a cookie jar of me. So she gave it to me. I had no idea prior to that that it even existed.
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I guess, as they say, I never acquired a taste for [caviar].
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Don't you see? We've become smart enough to justify stupid behavior. Like, 'I'm angry at him and I didn't express it, so I turned my anger inward and now it's depression, so in order to feel good again, what I should do is call him and express my anger.' It's like, if we can make it sound smart enough, we're allowed to do stupid things.
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You can't really accurately diagnose someone, I think. Or I've been told that.
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I've got to stop getting obsessed with human beings and fall in love with a chair. Chairs have everything human beings have to offer, and less, which is obviously what I need. Less emotional feedback, less warmth, less approval, less patience and less response. The less the merrier. Chairs it is. I must furnish my heart with feelings for furniture.
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A lot of people have told me, you know, that what I've written about, they identify with strongly.
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So when I was 24, someone suggested to me that I was bipolar, and I thought that was ridiculous. I just thought he was trying to get out of treating me. But he was also responding to the chaotic nature of my life.
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