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What marks a writer is this: until she - or he, of course - writes down whatever happened, turns it into a story, it hasn't really happened, it hasn't shape, form, reality.

Carolyn Heilbrun

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More quotes by Carolyn Heilbrun

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To recommend that women become identical to men, would be simple reversal, and would defeat the whole point of androgyny, and for that matter, feminism: in both, the whole point is choice.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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People who are genuinely involved in life, not just living a routine they've contrived to protect them from disaster, always seem to have more demanded of them than they can easily take on.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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It's hard to be happy, and safe, and applauded in a miserable world.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion, both because it is powerless to act in the real world, and because it glides so easily into hatred and resentment against those who have taken our Eden from us.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Cynic' is the sentimentalist's name for the realist.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Whether deliberately, unconsciously or accidentally, she seems to have composed her own life so that its fitful, rudderless, and self-doubting first half was alchemized into gold when the austere bluestocking became the fallen woman.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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One hires lawyers as on hires plumbers, because one wants to keep one's hands off the beastly drains.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Male friends do not always face each other they stand side by side, facing the world.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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We in middle age require adventure.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Power is the ability to take one's place in whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one's part matter.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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. . . a relationship has a momentum, it must change and develop, and will tend to move toward the point of greatest commitment.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Is there any vanity greater than the vanity of those who believe themselves without it?
Carolyn Heilbrun
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That is the point of quotations. One can use another's words to be insulting.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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A dog is the only exercise machine you cannot decide to skip when you don't feel like it.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Quoting, like smoking, ... is a dirty habit to which I am devoted. But then ... I am a professor of English literature it is an occupational hazard.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Life has this in common with prizefighting: if you've received a belly blow, it's likely to be followed by a right to the jaw.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Ideas move fast when their time comes.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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Androgyny suggests a spirit of reconciliation between the sexes it suggests, further, a full range of experience…it suggests a spectrum upon which human beings choose their places without regard to propriety or custom.
Carolyn Heilbrun
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I don't know why togetherness was ever held up as an ideal of marriage. Away from home for both, then together, that's much better.
Carolyn Heilbrun