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When in doubt, respond to what you witness, not what you hear secondhand.

Carolyn Hax

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Carolyn Hax
Age: 57
Born: 1966
Born: December 5
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Bridgeport
Connecticut
Carolyn Hanley Hax
Hear
Doubt
Secondhand
Respond
Witness

More quotes by Carolyn Hax

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Your parents' views are, by current standards, out there. Getting in their faces about it would be needlessly disrespectful, but there's no reason for you to tiptoe through their delusional little terrarium as if you can't bend even one blade of grass.
Carolyn Hax
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The sudden death of a partner while expecting a child is so universally understood as awful that I don't think anyone with any other weight to carry is going to get to same kind of sympathy - except perhaps people who lose a child.
Carolyn Hax
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Make sure you have legal cover for what you're doing.
Carolyn Hax
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One helpful thing to keep in mind as a retort-stopper is that you won't win, you won't change anyone's mind, you won't change any votes, you won't make the atmosphere in the room any better, YOU won't feel any better.
Carolyn Hax
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Sometimes the pain outweighs the good things.
Carolyn Hax
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For some people, the better route for finding like-minded parents is just to get out of your house with your baby and frequent baby-friendly places.
Carolyn Hax
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I believe in innocence until there's proof of guilt and all that.
Carolyn Hax
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Separation is where you see if it works better with the adults in two different homes.
Carolyn Hax
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You need to make plans for your future, so plan your own future.
Carolyn Hax
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Moving is hard. Staying is easy. Logistically speaking, at least. And this is true whether you're doing or undoing something.
Carolyn Hax
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Relationships are complicated, but happiness in a relationship isn't: It's just wanting exactly what you have. Wanting something else is dispiriting.
Carolyn Hax
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Apparently you have ample proof from experience that you're not going to stop world evil by debating your in-laws into submission, so it's okay to choose not to try.
Carolyn Hax
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We all make deals with ourselves when it comes to the difficult people in our lives.
Carolyn Hax
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If you're not sure what you want, then hold back from making plans or responding to invitations until you have a chance to think about it.
Carolyn Hax
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You can't make people like you under the best of circumstances, and you certainly can't make them like you while you're actively badgering them on what you perceive to be their failures of conscience.
Carolyn Hax
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If you take the time to listen to an upset child's story with empathy, and guide the child toward figuring out the root of the problem, then the result is often that the child not only calms down, but also in the future is less likely to get so upset.
Carolyn Hax
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Some people can work amid chaos or conversations, and some can't - and while there's no doubt an element of brain wiring to it, there's also the possibility of acquiring skills that improve your focus.
Carolyn Hax
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I have no quarrel with people who lack the skill or temperament to care for small children.
Carolyn Hax
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If the guests want to wrest the check away from the host, because the host is also the guest of honor, then the guest who volunteers has to cover the whole thing. A guest can't volunteer -all- of the guests to pay for the host/honoree.
Carolyn Hax
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For me, the greatest source of frustration was trying to work with a willful child when there was something else I wanted - say, to get the child to go to bed so I could have my own time. Just the promise of the time, and feeling that promise slip away, was enough to introduce a whole other element of stress into the encounter.
Carolyn Hax