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I'm wearing a new perfume that I should recommend to the women in the audience it's called 'Tester.

Carol Leifer

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Carol Leifer
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: July 27
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
East Williston
New York
Testers
Recommend
Perfume
Wearing
Called
Audience
Women

More quotes by Carol Leifer

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The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!
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I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't see it as a disadvantage. You're that much more unique when there's fewer of you.
Carol Leifer
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Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.
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Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases.
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Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.
Carol Leifer
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I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Carol Leifer
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Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.
Carol Leifer
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Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.
Carol Leifer
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I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.
Carol Leifer
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Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.
Carol Leifer
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My father was a huge influence on me.
Carol Leifer
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I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.
Carol Leifer
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Oh my God, Kennedy Airport - what a mess - all over you with those dopey security questions. 'Did you receive any gifts from any unknown persons?' Buddy, the last thing I got from an unknown person was in the 80's.
Carol Leifer
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It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
Carol Leifer
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All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.
Carol Leifer
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Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, Is someone sitting there? just say, No one except the Lord.
Carol Leifer
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I'm always a big fan of if you approach somebody politely about something and you're not a nudge - you're just pretty honest and simple, my kind of philosophy is that I'm not afraid of 'no,' and that's way different than 'I won't take no for an answer.
Carol Leifer
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Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.
Carol Leifer
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I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time.
Carol Leifer
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I think what I would say to my younger self, and probably to younger, just starting-out writers is that a lot of times you're just afraid to put yourself out there, and it's uncomfortable because it's working up the courage to do something, to push yourself to do those things.
Carol Leifer