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My father was a huge influence on me.

Carol Leifer

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Carol Leifer
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: July 27
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
East Williston
New York
Influence
Huge
Father

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I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
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I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.
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I'm wearing a new perfume that I should recommend to the women in the audience it's called 'Tester.
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My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'
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I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.
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I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time.
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My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.
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Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.
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I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't see it as a disadvantage. You're that much more unique when there's fewer of you.
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Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.
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Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.
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It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
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Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a nude beach? Thought it would be all sexy and hot. Oh my God, what a flubber fest! Everybody who shouldn't be naked is naked - didn't make me want to take off my clothes, made me want to take out my contacts.
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All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.
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Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases.
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Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.
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Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.
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Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, Is someone sitting there? just say, No one except the Lord.
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Obviously, at this age, I've lost people in my life. But with a parent, it's just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive little-girl notion that he'd always be around. So I'm finding acceptance of my father's death is the hardest thing to accept.
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Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.
Carol Leifer