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I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
Thing
Love
Joke
Jokes
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Listen
Though
Tell
Soul
More quotes by Carol Burnett
I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie - the networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.
Carol Burnett
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.
Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
Carol Burnett
People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
I think we're here for each other.
Carol Burnett
I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
