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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
People
Immediate
Cook
Cooks
Dinner
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification
Women
Windows
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Invites
More quotes by Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.
Carol Burnett
You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.
Carol Burnett
there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.
Carol Burnett
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
Celebrity was a long time in coming it will go away. Everything goes away.
Carol Burnett
You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
Carol Burnett
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
Carol Burnett
I always felt that I was more of an actress than a - I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.
Carol Burnett
No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Carol Burnett
