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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
People
Immediate
Cook
Cooks
Dinner
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification
Women
Windows
Like
Invites
More quotes by Carol Burnett
I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Carol Burnett
I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.
Carol Burnett
It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
I always felt that I was more of an actress than a - I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.
Carol Burnett
You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.
Carol Burnett
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
Carol Burnett
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.
Carol Burnett
