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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

Carol Burnett

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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
Women
Windows
Like
Invites
People
Immediate
Cook
Cooks
Dinner
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification

More quotes by Carol Burnett

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No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
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I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
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You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
Carol Burnett
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If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.
Carol Burnett
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But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
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It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
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I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
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My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
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I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
Carol Burnett
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I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
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I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie - the networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
Carol Burnett
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Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Carol Burnett
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You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
Carol Burnett
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I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.
Carol Burnett
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I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
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there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.
Carol Burnett
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It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett
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I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
Carol Burnett
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You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.
Carol Burnett
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But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett