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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
Dinner
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification
Women
Windows
Like
Invites
People
Immediate
Cook
Cooks
More quotes by Carol Burnett
I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
Carol Burnett
I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Carol Burnett
You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.
Carol Burnett
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.
Carol Burnett
I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.
Carol Burnett
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
Carol Burnett
If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.
Carol Burnett
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
Carol Burnett
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Carol Burnett
I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.
Carol Burnett
