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People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
Carol Burnett
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Carol Burnett
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: April 26
Actress
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Military City
USA
Carol Creighton Burnett
Clean
Invite
Window
Gratification
Women
Windows
Like
Invites
People
Immediate
Cook
Cooks
Dinner
More quotes by Carol Burnett
In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
Carol Burnett
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
Carol Burnett
I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
Carol Burnett
No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then - I guess it's still the same way - you had to take an acting class.
Carol Burnett
It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
Carol Burnett
I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.
Carol Burnett
No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
Carol Burnett
What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.
Carol Burnett
I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
Carol Burnett
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
Carol Burnett
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
Carol Burnett
My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
Carol Burnett
Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
Carol Burnett
When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
Carol Burnett
But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
Carol Burnett
I always felt that I was more of an actress than a - I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.
Carol Burnett
But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
Carol Burnett
It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
Carol Burnett
